I asked my Dermatologist about the red spots, streaks and ruddy cheeks I was experiencing.
“It’s rosacea,” she told me.
She prescribed some foul smelling ointment to rub on at night.
(I came to bed after applying it, and Chandos said, “I think there is a skunk outside the window.”
“Actually,” I replied, “it’s in our bed.”)
“No one knows for sure what the cause is, and treatment is a hit and miss, trial and error process,” said my Dermatologist
Charming.
Then she handed me a sheet with information on it. It is a disheartening piece of information – it embraces the whole of a normal life. It is a full page of information, so this is a summary.
ROSACEA TRIPWIRES
Factors that may trigger rosacea flare-ups
Foods – 12 different things.
Beverages – alcohol – wine and liquor, hot drinks,
Emotional influences
Physical exertion
Temperature-related – e.g. avoid the sun
Weather
Drugs (no explanation)
Medical conditions
Skin care products.
(complied by Killjoy, I thought.)
She observed my bewilderment. I mean, why not head to the crematorium right away? ‘What about a hairshirt?” I asked with a twinkle in my dismayed eye.
Then she demonstrated a hint of compassion. She put a large circle around “Alcohol, especially red wine, beer, bourbon, vodka, or champagne.”
Then she circled “vodka” with a circle inside the circle and a line to the margin and the word “OK”.
She explained that for some unknown reason, vodka actually helps alleviate the symptoms.
I asked, “Do I rub it on or drink it?”
She cracked up laughing. I am not sure why.
I forgot to ask for a prescription, but I mulled over the information. I have never had any vodka in my entire existence. So I began to investigate – google really is confusing. Every site I clicked on had different advice so I was left floundering in a sea of information. A few sites mentioned “mid-shelf vodka.” I had never heard of that brand before. Then on paying attention, it appears that on the top shelf are the pricey vodkas. These are for the refined drinkers who happen to billionaires as well.
On the bottom shelf, are the el-cheapos, that will rot your gut.
In the middle are reasonably priced vodkas ($10-$20) that are acceptable if you mix them with tomato juice or with tonic water.
OK!
Off to the mid shelf!
Dismay! The mid shelf feels like it is 20 feet wide with 30 brands of vodka, (A bit of writer’s license to get your attention), so my confusion became more confused.
So I hum and haw and prevaricate to myself, grumbling like a stomach full of beans. I go to various stores to get some comparisons.
I see one that is marked down by 50%, from $20 to $9.99. It is borderline billionaires, at the top of acceptable, and in the price range of cheap.. Naturally I rejoice at this providence.
So off I go hoping I do not bump into someone I know. I mean walking out with a red face and a bottle of vodka is rather telling.
Anyhow, I mixed 2 oz of vodka with 6 oz of tomato juice, added a sprinkle of cayenne pepper, a squeeze of lemon juice and a squirt of worcester sauce, all on the rocks.
That guaranteed that a single one would last all evening. .
Amazingly enough, the rosacea definitely subsided! Next time I see my Dermatologist I will ask why no one is isolating what it is in Vodka that works.
I am raising funds and asking for volunteers to run a trial with all the proper parameters. I will refuse sponsorships from Vodka producers.
Then I am going to open a clinic and get on the lecture circuit. There will be various levels of accomodation for clients to stay in. (Minimum of one wee: $1000 day a day for classy vodka, a “mid shelf” wing at $500, and park benches and cardboard for the cheapos at $100. Rosacea is a nasty skin condition. (I have opened a waiting list- better hurry, it is filling up fast.)
I am looking for partners, an “angel” to get me going. (Apply for Prospectus)
progressingpeople 